On The Air

Ladders, camels, and a mysterious piece of plywood conspire to boot Peter and Sarah out of the race.

Episode links:
Miss Alli’s recap
TV Squad review
TV Guide review
Download the episode with BitTorrent

Previously on The Amazing Race: Airports, airports, airports. Oh, and something about an alligator. But mostly airports.

Currently on The Amazing Race: There’s some funny stuff happening here with the time, because for as long as I’ve watched the show they’ve left the Pit Stop exactly 12 hours after they’ve arrived. (Or 36. Or 60.) Usually Phil gives his little spiel about how such-and-such team “who were the first to arrive at 3:05pm, will depart at 3:05am.” But this time we see Peter and Sarah departing at 12:54pm. I guess they’ve tossed out the whole 12-hour rule, because there’s no way they arrived at 12:54am. It was sunny when they arrived, and the only place it would have been sunny at 12:54am is at the North Pole. But they’re not departing 24 hours later, either, because David and Mary leave at 6:04pm, and the sun is still up. If you remember, they arrived in the middle of the night last week. So there’s something funny going on with the time here, and for some reason they did a 21-hour Pit Stop, and there’s no explanation for it.

Anyway, the teams are let loose into the streets of India with nothing more than a cell phone. On the phone is video of a building in Kuwait that teams need to find. Yes, the Race is headed to Kuwait, one of about three American-friendly places in the Middle East. Too bad Bilal and Sa’eed weren’t still around for this leg. Or that Vipul and Arti didn’t make it to last week, for that matter.

In contrast to last week’s airport marathon, where we got to live through every agonizing second of people switching flights fifteen times, this week the journey to Kuwait takes up about 45 seconds of screen time. Before you know it all the teams are on the ground and racing to the Kuwait Towers. And even with a simple task like getting in a car and leaving the airport, David and Mary end up in last place pretty quick. Think that 30-minute penalty is going to be a problem for them?

At the Kuwait Towers teams find the Roadblock, and they also find the Race’s first Fast Forward. Now personally, I think one of the stupidest things they did was change it so there are only one or two Fast Forwards on the entire race. Back in the first few seasons, when there was a Fast Forward on every leg of the race, it was a real strategy play. Teams had to “decide when it’s most advantageous to go for it,” and sometimes if you used it in an early leg you’d find yourself getting screwed later on. But now that the FF has become so scarce, there’s a completely different stragey involved. It’s mostly about everyone wanting to go for it, but not wanting to be behind if they don’t get it. And this time there’s an added dimension, because I’m sure it’s no coincidence that the Fast Forward was placed on the leg where one of the teams needs to come in first. I could see taking the strategy of going for the Fast Forward not only to put yourself in first place, but also to make sure David and Mary don’t come in first, and virtually guaranteeing their elimination.

The *win brothers, though, have a different strategy. They want David and Mary to get the Fast Forward, but it’s not enough just to let them go for it. Because while David and Mary are dicking around trying to make up their minds, the Beauty Queens have already decided to go for the Fast Forward. So now it’s time for the Amazing Cho Brothers to leap into action and run interference. They jog over to the elevators and say they’re going to take the FF themselves. The Beauty Queens see this and immediately get intimidated, picturing how far behind they’d be if they go all the way to the Fast Forward and the Chos beat them to it. So they step out of the running for the Fast Forward, and by this time David and Mary have decided that they want it. Which is the biggest no-brainer of the entire season so far, so I’m not sure why it took them so long to decide.

So by the time this whole thing is over, and David and Mary are on their way, and everyone else realizes that it’s too late to go for the Fast Forward, here come the Chos back up on the elevator. Ding! We just handed the Fast Forward to David and Mary, suckers. What are you going to do about it? That’s one of the few times on The Amazing Race that being in an alliance came in handy.

The rest of the teams have to do the Roadblock, which is in two parts. The first part is a classic climb-the-ladder challenge, with the kicker being that the ladder is 600 feet off the ground. Not very difficult, especially since you’re strapped in with ropes. The second part was stolen directly from Survivor, and that’s where they have to assemble puzzle pieces to spell out the name of the next place they’re going to, Except the name is written in Arabic, so they’ve also got to find somebody to decode it. I’m really impressed with some of the clues they’re putting together this season. There’s a lot more brain power involved than just “go here”.

The Roadblock passes by without much incident, except that Sarah is doing it (again!) and Peter is sitting on his ass on the grass watching her (again!), and then he starts coaching her while she’s doing the puzzle. (Again!!) We also see the ugly side of Lyn and Karlyn. After they’ve asked a local for help deciphering the puzzle, they try to stop the Beauty Queens from talking to the same guy. What the hell? You don’t own the locals, honey. They’ve got the nerve to say that it isn’t fair that he’s helping the other team. I don’t know what kind of reality they’re living in, but they’ve pulled this shit before at Ha Long Bay when the Beauty Queens beat them to a boat. I guess the fact that the other teams aren’t just stepping out their way and letting them win is unfair too.

Somewhere in the middle of all this, David and Mary manage to not only find the Fast Forward and complete it, but they also don’t get lost on the way to the Pit Stop and actually wind up in first place. I think that Fast Forward was the only way they were not getting eliminated this week. So they’re not only still in the Race, but they’ve got a trip to Jamaica too. Something inside me really wants to see David and Mary sitting on a beach, wearing rasta hats, and puffing on some ganja.

Everyone else gets the clue to the Detour, which is a choice between shoveling camel food into a bag or using a hilarious little automatic jockey to race a camel down the track. The robot jockey is so awesome; it’s got this whip that goes around and around and whips the camel — “lightly whips,” Phil assures us — and it’s even wearing a little hat. I’m totally taking one to Virginia City next year. Most people choose the camel feed, though, presumably because everyone has seen previous seasons and nobody wants to deal with actual camels. In the end only Tyler and James and Lyn and Karlyn end up at the camel race track. And that turns out to be a mistake for the other teams, because the camel racing looks like it takes about 15 seconds to finish. So I guess it’s another case where the Detour clue is a little misleading about which task will be easier. And that’s a good thing; it shows the race planners are keeping people on their toes.

Everyone completes the Detour quickly and checks in at the Pit Stop one by one. Everyone, that is, except Peter and Sarah. Apparently they’re trying to drive around Kuwait using a map of Illinois, because they have no idea where they are, where they’re going, or where they’ve been. They get a glimmer of hope when they stumble across a red-and-yellow Race arrow along the road, but it turns out that they found the Fast Forward. The Fast Forward that David and Mary claimed hours before. The Fast Forward that was located 18 miles out of town. Now that is seriously lost, y’all.

Peter and Sarah just keep driving around in circles. And poor Sarah in the back seat has to crouch the whole time underneath a piece of plywood that’s inexplicably shoved into the back of their SUV. I didn’t get that. Are they hauling construction materials for spare cash? What they are doing, though, is getting more lost. They find themselves back at the Kuwait Towers, which is where the Roadblock was. Earlier that morning. And they find a local to help them navigate, but they just get taken to a supermarket. I guess they had some errands to run.

When someone’s this lost, it never ends well.

And indeed, long after all the other teams have checked in, we watch the sun set and the world go dark. And then, finally, Peter and Sarah show up at the feed lot. They rip their clue and are told to proceed directly to the Pit Stop. Uh-oh. There have only been a handful of times where a team was so far behind that the producers basically tell them to give up. And when they get to the mat, Phil tells them that they’re eliminated. Looks like David and Mary would have been safe without the Fast Forward after all.

We end the show with a rare on-mat break up, as Peter and Sarah realize that they just really don’t like each other. It starts with Peter saying that they make better friends than lovers, but just when he thinks he’s had the last word Sarah gets awesome: “He is a very strong go-getter, but he isn’t a very nurturing or kind individual.” Dude. That’s rough. And right in front of Phil, too.

Most couples walk away from the mat hand in hand. Peter and Sarah walk away about ten feet apart. Better luck next time, Sarah! Maybe you can find someone who’s not a controlling dick.